366 Devotions for
A Woman After God's Own Heart
Day 10
People Noise
 
Sometimes I get tired of listening. But the truth is that we’re surrounded by people. At work, on campus, at church, at home. I heard one wise person say, “You can’t be with people all of the time and have a ministry to people.” Frankly, that’s encouraging. If part of your day is spent hidden in reflection, in prayer, in preparation, your effectiveness will be even greater. It’s interesting, isn’t it? The impact of your ministry to people will be in direct proportion to the time you spend away from people and with God. Be a woman who makes wise decisions regarding her time.
Lord, remind me to spend quality and quantity time with You this week.
Help me stay focused so I can serve You in everything I do. Amen.

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Observing Lent 02/22/2012
 
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As you may be aware, today is the first day of what many people around the world observe as Lent—a 40-day period leading up to Easter. Lent is often associated with some kind of fast—giving up chocolate or coffee or computer games or Facebook. 


Some people fast during Lent as a means of self-control without attaching any spiritual significance to it. Others believe that by observing a Lenten fast, they can somehow merit the grace or favor of God. Of course, we know from Scripture that it’s “not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us” (Titus 3:5). 


But many Christians observe Lent as a meaningful way of meditating on the sufferings of Christ on our behalf. They choose to deny their flesh as a daily reminder that Christ died and rose again to deliver us from slavery to sin and self. 


A Lenten fast may take different forms, but I believe there is value in taking such an extended period of time to clear out the clutter that accumulates in our hearts, to say “no” to things that may have become too important to us, and to cultivate greater love for Christ. 


The churches I grew up in did not observe Lent in any formal sense. But in recent years, I have started setting aside these weeks to fix my eyes on Christ in a more intentional way. I select one or more books on the life and passion of Christ to read during Lent. I ask the Lord to soften and prepare my heart to commemorate the passion, death, and resurrection of Christ, and to make the gospel more real in my life.

In recent weeks, the Lord has been drawing my heart to Him in a deeper way. I have a fresh longing and thirst to know Him more intimately, and am looking forward to seeking Him more earnestly during Lent. I have selected a couple of books to read and am starting a Bible study on what it means to love Christ with my whole heart. (In the past, I’ve enjoyed books such asThe Incomparable Christ by J. Oswald Sanders, The Suffering Savior by Krummacher, and John Stott’s The Cross of Christ.) This year, I will also be putting aside some things that could distract me from pursuing Him, including one of my favorite diversions, Words With Friends.

None of these spiritual disciplines makes me any more spiritual. Nor does it mean someone who does not fast is any less spiritual. We are saved and sanctified by grace alone. These practices are simply tools that many have found helpful in denying their flesh and deepening their devotion for Christ.

How about you? Do you have any plans to fast from something in order to feast on Christ between now and Resurrection Day?

One further word: OneCry, a nationwide call for spiritual awakening, launches this Friday, February 24. Revive Our Hearts is partnering with other ministries in this important initiative. We’ll be sharing more about it on the blog this Friday and in the days ahead. During this Lenten season I would encourage you to join thousands of other believers in crying out to Him for true revival and awakening in our land.

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 by Britney Hamm
My Dad once told me to picture my interests and values as a whole circle. My husband’s interests and values would also be represented by a whole circle.

Then Dad said to picture our circles partially overlapping. The overlapping area are the interests and values that we share.

The amount of overlap is different for every couple, but no couple’s circles of interests completely overlap. Dad wisely encouraged me to intentionally seek to appreciate and understand the things that are exclusively in my husband’s circle.

My husband and I share a lot of things in common. We work side by side in ministry every day and share many hobbies.

But he loves football. Loves it!

I don’t understand the point of running around with a ball, falling down in a heap, and doing it all over again. So when football season comes around I roll my eyes inwardly, accepting that for the next few months his Sunday afternoons will be spent watching the Chiefs play.

This season God started tugging on my heart. I realized that my attitude toward his football watching was less than gracious– especially because my husband longed for me to show an interest and watch a football game with him.

I resolved (and told him) that I would watch a game in its entirety with him.

Each week went by and I found some reason not to watch it with him.

Then God used a young woman in my life to shake up my heart. Her boyfriend loves working out and she doesn’t, but because it’s important to him, she’s working out with him four times a week. I was humbled by her selfless effort to connect with him.

Here we were, almost to the end of football season, and I couldn’t even lay aside my own interests long enough to watch one football game.

As I reflected in my heart on my self-centeredness, I realized four realities about Christ that can change me into a wife who lays aside her own interests to pursue a deeper connection with my husband.

1. Jesus laid aside his own self interest and well being for my mine. “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me, yet not my will, but yours” (Luke 22:42).

2. Jesus humbled himself and stepped into my world, experiencing what I experience—even death—for my sake. “Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:6-8).

3. Jesus’ sacrifice was to give me grace and pay my debt– not to issue me an “IOU” that I must pay back to him later. “When you were dead in your sins … God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the written code … nailing it to the cross.” (Colossians 2:13-14).

4. Jesus did all of this with joy, not grumbling. “who, for the joy set before him endured the cross…” (Hebrews 12:2).

These four truths about the gospel free me to repent of my selfishness and love my husband in this very practical way. With Christ’s example in mind, I can imitate His selfless love by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me, who empowers me to do what I cannot do on my own.

First, I lay aside my selfishness, my agendas, and my preferences that hinder me from being willing to try something my husband loves.

Second, I step into my husband’s world and seek to see this activity through his eyes, learning as much about it and why he enjoys it as I can.

Third, I do this expecting nothing in return, and repenting when I start to see it as a favor that puts him in debt to me rather than an act of love.

Fourth, I do this with joy, not with a grumbling attitude that tells my husband it’s an obligation, but with joy and eagerness that tell him I love him.

Did I ever end up watching an entire game with my husband? Yes (okay, minus the half hour my daughter and I fell asleep on the couch). It was the Chiefs’ second to last game of the season. Better late than never! Know what? I actually enjoyed it a little. It was probably the most relaxing 3 hours I’ve had in a long time. Sharing the ups and downs of the game together connected us in a new way, and for the first time I understood, in a small way, why Sunday afternoon football is important to my husband.

I’m wouldn’t say I’m now a huge football fan who cares about all the stats and will put watching football games at the top of my list. But when next football season rolls around, I’m going to keep meditating on these truths and intentionally love my husband by spending most Sunday afternoons watching football, asking questions to understand the game better, and cheering on our team (go Chiefs!).

What is your husband passionate about that you aren’t? What hinders you from engaging with him in an activity or subject he enjoys? How does the gospel free you to step into his circle for a little while?

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Come join us for a night of fun and games. Please bring a snack to share. Drinks will be provided. Invite a friend!!!!! This is a very seeker friendly event.
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An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
-- Proverbs 31:10-12

1. Praise Him Verbally
Private nagging and public nitpicking are common temptations for wives of husbands who are sinners, by which I mean wives, but a wife ought to know that this is Chinese water torture on his heart. Most men carry around in their souls the question "Do I have what it takes?" The gospel answers this question, "No, but Jesus does, and what's his is yours." This is the only acceptable way to answer in the "negative." When you nitpick and nag, you give mouthpiece to the accuser who wants your husband to know not only does he not have what it takes, he is worthless because of it. So find ways to constructively criticize and help him repent, but more than that, tell him what you like about him, how you find him attractive or admirable, how you respect him or are impressed by him. Outdo him in showing honor (Rom. 12:10).

2. Submit to His Leadership
This is not a call to be a doormat, but in my pastoral experience I encounter many a wife who says she wants her husband to lead her but then makes it clear in some way that this will only occur when she agrees with his decision. There are few things more demoralizing than a demand to lead with no commitment to follow. Instead, if your husband is not leading you into sin, your followship of your husband is a reflection of your trust in God. Peter writes:For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. (1 Peter 3:5-6)3. Reject Relational Legalism
If your husband always feels as though he is only in your good graces when he has performed to your standards or met your expectations, he will not see you as his lover, friend, or partner, but as his boss. Do you know how deeply you want to feel approved of despite your flaws, sins, and failures, that your husband would know the real you and love that you? He wants the same thing, even if he never expresses it.

4. Take an Interest
It's not always that your husband doesn't like to talk. It's just that perhaps he's learned that your favorite subjects are things he doesn't have much to say about. Communicating with you in ways that edify and engage you is his command to obey with joy; communicating with him in ways that edify and engage him is yours. This might mean asking him questions about sports or hobbies or movies or power tools. Or maybe it doesn't mean talking but sitting on the couch to watch the game with him or invading his "man cave"* with your presence but not your agenda.

5. Make Love to Him
This is not universally true, but it is generally true: The number one way a husband feels encouraged is when his wife has sex with him. I put it last because it's likely the touchiest point (no pun intended), but it is (again, generally speaking) top of the list. If you're thinking, "Well, for some husbands maybe, but not mine," ask him. For most men, sexual intimacy is directly wired to feelings of encouragement, confidence, approval, attractiveness, and self-esteem. The things that you likely need in order to feel open to sexual intimacy are the things he typically feels afterwards -- closeness, respect, approval. I know it's weird that God set it up that way, but I think he did so that we would serve each other graciously with our bodies, learning to put each other first in a neat little "No, after you" kind of dance. In any event, one of the chief ways -- if not the chief way -- you can build up your husband is by bedding down with him. 

Carolyn Mahaney's chapter "Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God: What Every Christian Wife Needs to Know" in the Piper/Taylor book Sex and the Supremacy of Christ is excellent on this subject. You can download the entire book for free here.


* Dudes, if you have a man cave the sole function of which is for you to spend regular amounts of time sequestered from your family, you need to repent and reorder your priorities.
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Dear Ladies,
The Book Club will be reading "Shanghai Girls" by Lisa See and meeting on 12th December at 19.30 to discuss it. Anyone intersted should please RSVP to lorrainedomke@yahoo.co.uk or phone 06172 1770970.
Please join us for a great time of discussion and fellowship. Blessings,
Laurie Martin
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“I am the vine, you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” - John 15:5  

Grapevine is our ministry program for abiding in Christ through the study of His Word.  It is a weekly gathering place for women of all ages and backgrounds to come together to grow in their faith and knowledge of God so that they can live out His truths in their daily lives. We offer two sessions of Grapevine: Grapevine Mornings,* every Thursday morning from 09:30 to 11:30 and Grapevine at Night, every Tuesday evening from 19:00 to 21:00.  Both sessions take place in the ICF cafeteria.

The study that we are offering this year is from Community Bible Study International. CBSI is a non-denominational Christian Ministry dedicated to providing in-depth Bible study open to all, in a caring group environment. The only pre-requisite for the study is a desire to learn what God has to say in the Bible. This term we will be studying the Book of Luke.
*Quality childcare provided during this time.

For directions or more information please contact  Laurie Martin at grapevine@icf-frankfurt.com



Grapevine at Night will begin on August 30
Grapevine Mornings will begin on September 1


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